One thing I’ve always been certain on doing my best at in this pregnancy is making sure this baby gets the same excitement, joy, love and attention that Avery had (to the best of my abilities).
I loved every second of being pregnant with Avery, so despite the fear and anxiety that grapples you during pregnancy after loss, it shouldn’t be any different for this baby; it’s her brother/ sister and if she were here, I would enjoy every second of my second pregnancy.
Some things are inevitably going to be different, we haven’t rushed to buy items this time, and it will be a long while before we start getting out Avery’s belongings and thinking about the nursery, but the little bits in between I’m keen to pursue. One of these was yoga, and this evening I’ve just come back from my second pregnancy yoga class with rainbow. It may seem trivial to some, but words can’t express the pride I have when I walk out of that class without breaking down. You see, I’ve been attending the same class I went to with Avery; same teacher, same moves, same room – everything!
I was absolutely terrified the first time round, but luckily I have a new found pregnant friend who reached out to show support after Avery as my new yoga buddy! I don’t think I’d of had the courage to go on my own, having someone there who understands as a comfort blanket is always a big help for anything during pregnancy after loss!
If you are attending any classes during pregnancy after loss, it’s always really useful to speak to the manager beforehand. I reached out to Sophia my yoga teacher to ask if she felt it be appropriate if I come back – and she couldn’t have been lovelier about it; making sure she didn’t draw attention to my previous pregnancy in the class and giving me a big welcoming squeeze.
I enjoy the classes; I feel really comfortable and am focused on doing the class for THIS baby. One my first class, there was a moment at the end where we have relaxation time and the teacher asked us to thank ourselves for the wonderful work we are doing growing this baby – there was almost a moment where I could have filled up – but I thought, you know what, you should thank yourself Nicole, you’re doing this baby and Avery proud, keep it up!
Moral of the story, things are never as bad as you build up in your head. It’s important for me to treat rainbow like I did Avery, as it’s her brother/ sister and absolutely not her replacement.
One day and yoga class at a time .. XO Nicole