I’m currently on day one of a two week break in Mexico with Steven, and boy does the vitamin D and ‘switching off’ feel good for the soul and fill me with positivity.
I must admit, I was a little worried I would struggle coming back to Mexico – you see, we’re back at the same hotel we were this time last year, where Steven proposed, and I was 3 weeks pregnant with Avery (I actually had my implantation bleed while we were here). I worried it would be a harsh reminder of our loss and how she should be here with us, but after 6 months of intense grief and pain, I couldn’t think of a better place to be with Steven and our angel.
To think that she’s been here before in some way brings me happiness, and as I looked out onto the ocean today I thought back to when I did the same last year – little did I know our miracle was growing away inside of me, it brought me peace and closure, it somehow made me feel close to her. It’s such a beautiful place for us to be and relax.
Grief takes its toll on you, you have bad days, good days and down right impossible days – its tiring. This kind of luxury that we’ve been lucky enough to treat ourselves too is much deserved treat – I think its a great way to mark the 6 month point since we lost our baby girl and is giving us the time to reflect on proud we should be for standing tall and getting through the worst.
To any loss parents, I recommend doing the same – treat yourselves, you deserve to think of you and reconnect!
One sunny day at a time .. XO Nicole