You know the song “it’s a new dawn, it’s a new day…”, well I genuinely am feeling good today, as I have something I haven’t yet been able to focus on – A PLAN!
Before Avery was born, I knew everything that was going on in my life, I had control of each little aspect because that’s how I like it, and that’s what makes losing your baby so hard – having absolutely no control over it whatsoever. I think that’s why waking up with a plan to focus on has felt so good today!
So, what’s Nicole’s plan?
- Get my body back to the healthy and strong one it was before
- Have a daily plan mapped out
- Write at least twice a week to sooth my mind, reflect and hopefully eventually help others
- Spend time talking to my baby girl every day
- Slowly build myself up to taking my first step back into the office
- Make time for family and friends
- FIND MY NEW NORMAL
A health freak is a big part of who I was – I loved the gym before work, clean eating and seeing the results. Being healthy is something you can really gain control of and have a routine around, so I think this is going to be a BIG part of me getting control of my life again (although I’ll miss being the guilt-free cake eater that I became). I’ve teamed up with an amazing PT called Rachel from Steven’s work, she is an expert in getting a woman’s body back to it’s fittest state, and she really is clued up on fertility. She’s given me exercise, nutrition, and mindfulness routines to follow to help me achieve my goals of gaining post-partum body confidence and preparing my body for trying to conceive again – watch this space.
The love of others will help you with your grieving
Another biggie, is to stop spending so much time on my own. It’s hard not to at the moment with Steven working long hours and me working from home, but that doesn’t mean I have to become a hermit! So, I’m splitting my time between working from home on days when Steven is home early, getting friends/ family and work colleagues to work from home with me, and driving to Steven’s work and logging in from the coffee shop there. Sometimes, and especially during a time of grieving, being alone with your thoughts is the worst possible thing you can do – so get out there and get some fresh air!!
Whilst I’m not a specialist, I genuinely believe doing these things will help me find myself again. The fun, uber positive Nicole is still inside me, and she does sneak her way out from time to time, but now I’ve got to focus on getting her back full time – because me and Steven created a beautiful baby girl and whilst we’ll never get to meet her in this life, it’s important we live it to the fullest, because she’s waiting for us in the next. It’s really important not to forget the happiness your baby brought to you for the brief period they were in your life.
One day at a time .. XO Nicole